WARNING: RANT AHEAD…
I don’t know about you, but I seem to be having an attack of the ‘I can’t deals’. I’m just so done with the ridiculous onslaught of health and beauty ‘rules’ that clog up my social media newsfeed everyday. Yes, I am all for healthy living and trying to be the best you, but 100 Instagram posts an hour stating: ‘mmmm smashed avocado!’ *thumbs up emoji* or a ‘ Just can’t live without this ‘delicious’ and healthy kale and seaweed smoothie’ *strong arm emoji* are just too much. Purleaaaase *eye roll emoji*.
I try to incorporate a moderate amount of healthy eating into my life but because I’m also known to incorporate quite a bit of pizza, Prosecco and cake as well, I like to boost it with good nutritional supplements and superfoods. Of course I want to be healthy…in moderation.
And it’s not the regular gym bunnies that perplex me so much – they can be inspirational when I’m in the right mood (and I’m guessing you can tell I’m not really in the mood today). It’s the uber-healthy, clean-eating brigade that are a bit annoying. Living a 100% healthy life can’t be enjoyable or sustainable can it? I don’t really know because I haven’t had the urge to try it. But maybe that’s because I worry that certain clean-eating trends can so easily get out of hand for some people, mainly young impressionable girls and boys, who often turn healthy eating into an unbalanced obsession.
And don’t get me started on the ridiculous body image ‘goals’ that seem to change from week to week…
Have you got a bubble butt, thigh gap, ab crack, insert next ridiculous body trend…? You haven’t?! WHAAAAT?! OMG what are you going to do? You’d best stay indoors honey and ride it out until wobbly tum and dimply calves becomes A THING. Or..or…you could go and get surgery. YES! That’s it! Go and get your bum cut open and have huge, massooove rock hard balloon things sewn into your buttocks. That’s a good idea, isn’t it? You might think that large, hiked up arse will look mighty fine in your #posingnotposing gym selfies but girlfriend, if you can’t shake what your mamma gave ya and instead you prefer to have an immovable butt like a medicine ball, there’s something wrong. Isn’t there? Please say it isn’t just me.
And then, what about the whole salivating over certain celebs and reality ‘stars’. It reminds me of the Emperor’s New Clothes because the gushing adoration gets so out of hand and I don’t understand why?! It seems as if it only takes one online mag to say ‘blah is just to die for…’ then another one jumps on the bandwagon and before you know it, you’re getting stupid articles telling you how, if you do this or do that, you too can be the lucky owner of a pair of lips like Kylie Jenner (er…not without a vat full of filler you can’t mate. It’s going to take more than a peachy lipliner and an over priced lippie to inflate a pair of lips to that size.) Or…you can have a waist, hair, eyes, cheekbones or whatever like a Hadid sister. No. Just stop it.
Let’s GET REAL!
I do get the girl-crush thing in a little way. I mean, Beyonce is so gorgeous and powerful and cool. But, so is my mum. And I know lots of real-life women without Queen B’s money (obvs) and no fame at all, yet they make me feel all ‘girl power’ inside when I talk to them because they are just so darn brilliant. They are real, lovely, kind people, in normal jobs, living normal lives. They might be unremarkable to the celeb-hanger-on-ers, but they are remarkable IRL. And that’s worth so much more than fame and fakery.
I feel as if we are OD’ing on celebrity culture. I don’t want my kidults to want to be like anyone else. I want them to be themselves. And I don’t want to be like anyone else. I want to be ME! Of course, I wouldn’t mind being a younger, firmer, tauter, brighter, bouncier, plumper, smoother, slimmer, less crumpled version – and I am not averse to doing a few little minor improvements to keep ME in check (a M.O.T for the face & body, if you will). But I’m not going to obsess and feel less-than if I don’t look ‘perfect’…whatever that means. And what’s more, I’m not having anybody else tell me what I should look like – or be aiming to look like.
Please believe me when I say, there is no magic potion, no gym workout, no special diet or makeup that will make you feel worthy, beautiful and happy unless your own mind and brain tells you that you are. And for that, there’s only one thing you need – self love. You can’t buy it and you won’t find it on Instagram.
RANT OVER…carry on! ☺