I’m not sure all mums feel the same as me, but as soon as my firstborn wrapped her tiny hand around my finger, there was no doubt that she, and any subsequent children I had, would feature first on my list of priorities in life. Looking at how Stressed Husband couldn’t bear to part with our babies to go back to work after each of their births, I knew they were top on his love list too.
At the time, it felt right that we should both be shunted down the pecking order to give way for these gorgeous, vulnerable little creatures who needed us more, although I’m not saying we didn’t both sometimes resent the lack of attention and adoration from each other that we were used to before kids; I was well and truly tipped off that pedestal I’d enjoyed being on since we’d met and if he thought a romantic tryst under the sheets came before staying up until the early hours to sprinkle glittery fairy dust and write letters from the tooth fairy, he could think again!
Bringing up kids is as tough and messy as it is rewarding and it’s only when you start to gain more proper time with your partner – not that ‘quick, the kids are in bed…wine, 2 minute fondle and snore’ time – that you begin to really look at each other again. And if you’re lucky, you’re still there. A little crumplier, a teensy podgier, a lot tireder – but the essence of the young man and woman who fell in love with each other, is still there.
We’ll never stop putting the kids first no matter how old they are, but our recent trip to Dubai made us realise that now the kids are more independent, we’ll probably be spending a lot more time on our own. So, we made the most of it and relaxed, laughed and danced as much as we could and even though the main topic of our conversations was the kids, there was also a lot of talk about our future plans and what we might get up to when the kids are off our hands. Just the two of us once more…
Happy Valentine’s Day my darling Stressed Husband 😉