It’s that time of the year when the party invitations are coming in thick and fast…or not. If they are, the thought of meeting new people or being expected to mingle and shine could be worrying you. And if the invites are a little low on the ground you might be wondering why: Am I not a nice person? Doesn’t anybody like me? Talking to friends and family, it’s clear that us women are much more likely to worry about what others think of us than men. In fact, Liz Wilde, Life Coach and author of numerous beauty and wellbeing books, recognises that low self-esteem can be a major factor in holding women back from accepting new challenges (or invitations) and can also prevent us from making the most of everyday life. Luckily for us, Liz is more than happy to give us her professional confidence boosting tips to help kick those nagging worries into touch…
How to appear confident even when you’re not: No one has ever done something they think they can’t. Which is why, to do anything, we must first believe we can. Turn “I can’t…walk into a party alone”, into, “How can I ……” Asking this question automatically kick starts your brain into looking for answers to help.
How to boost your self-esteem: If you want to feel good about yourself, start acting as if you believe other people like you. Your self-esteem is based on the quality of your relationships, and if you feel good you are more likely to act more positively which will make you more likeable – a win-win situation!
How to wow in social situations: Most of us are starved of attention, so the surest way to impress other people is to make them feel important. Don’t spend your time preparing a witty response, instead really listen to the other person without interrupting. Ask questions and act as if you’re genuinely interested (even if you’re not). Liz says this will guarantee that whoever you’re speaking to will think you are the most interesting person they’ve met all night!
How to silence our inner critic: We are very good at thinking the worst of ourselves but we wouldn’t dream of being so unkind to a good friend. If she had one too many and danced on the table, you would tell her she was a laugh. But if you behaved that way, you’d probably convince yourself you’re a laughing stock and be wracked with shame. To silence that nagging voice, ask yourself: “Is that true?” Are you really a laughing stock or did people just think you were having a good time? Remember, the kinder option will usually be nearer the truth.
My winning tip for when you’re meeting people for the first time – whether it’s a social or professional situation – is to take a few deep breaths and make a conscious effort to relax your face and smile. A cheerful smile will make others feel more comfortable around you and help ease any awkwardness.
And of course, a glass of champagne is also a fabulous way of calming nerves and making you feel fantastic! 😉
If you’d like to find out more about personal life coaching, Liz Wilde is running a special offer for a limited time only. All of her invaluable tips and tricks to help motivate you to leading a more confident, fulfilling life are available in her six week e-course, Is This It, for £29.99 and it comes with a money back guarantee. Find out more here.
Liz Wilde, wildelifecoaching.com